The Bill Murray Test

I rewatched Groundhog Day a little while ago, and man, what an awesome movie. I especially loved when his character said, "Each day is like the last. And I never know when it ends." Who knew that movie was so philosophic? Who knew that Bill Murray is like God?

On a recent Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, he had dinner with the great man. Bourdain is one of the biggest talkers I've ever seen on TV. The man has something to say about everything and never shuts up. For the first time ever, Bourdain sat there silent. He was like a fanboy, blushing, grinning, and nodding to every single thing Bill Murray said. And who the hell knew what Bill Murray was talking about? He had some long monologue about the love and art of food and how it looks into people's souls or something. Does it matter if it didn't make sense? Does Bill Murray ever make sense? Nope. But it doesn't matter. Because the man is Bill Fucking Murray. If he wanted to read the bible back to back on film, I'd be the first in line to that movie.

I've decided that everyone in my life must like Bill Murray. How can you not love Ghostbusters? Groundhog Day? Lost in Translation? I didn't love Broken Blossoms, but I stilled love Bill in the film. And if you don't like Bill, don't tell me about it. If you want to maintain a relationship with me, don't ever tell me you don't love one of my favorite actors of all time.

So this is the new test for new people in my life. If you like Bill Murray, I'll get to know you. If you don't, then there must be fundamentally wrong with your sense of humor, taste, and all around concept of what's good in the world. So therefore, sorry, but you're just not worth knowing.

How Short Am I?

This is a largely disputed issue amongst my friends. Just how short am I?

I am quite short. Maybe even shorter than the shortest Asians. My only concern is if I qualify as a technical Little Person (using the correct PC term) or if I want to be un-PC -- a midget. For years, my husband told me, "Sorry, C, I think you qualify as a midget."

Being a bit sensitive about my height -- and laugh as much as you want -- it does suck sometimes to be of the shorter persuasion -- concerts, movies are a freaking nightmare. One tall person destroys a happy and perfect evening of entertainment.

And don't even get me started on seats. Effing seats. They do NOT make seats, any type of seats -- theatre seats, airplane seats, restaurant seats -- none of these are for short people. Wanna know how I know? My feet never touch the damn ground! Do you know how much it hurts to sit for long periods of time and have my feet never touch the ground.

Not to mention the clothes that are never made for us. Have you ever been to the petite section at Macy's? It's like shopping for Grandma's funeral. Only not as chic.

Go ahead, Tall People, rejoice in the thing that is your height.

So, being that I was looking for a random distraction today, I looked up what the Little People of America constituted as a Little Person. It's 4'10". I would like to say that I'm OVER 4'10". Not by much, but I'm almost 4'11". Go ahead, laugh as you will. I threatened to kill my husband if he told anyone. And knowing he would tell everyone the next chance he got -- I'm going to beat him to the punch.

So be it. I'm an almost Little Person. Fuck it. I'm short and proud. I'll say it now. I'll say it loud.

Life Unexpected

For some inane reason I like this show. My heart finds comfort that former stars from Roswell and Dawson's Creek have found more work. Sure, I think Shiri Appleby is a bit annoying. And Kerr Smith wasn't my favorite on Dawson's (Yay Pacey!). But there's something so hopeful about washed up WB and UPN stars that reappear in our lives again (at least from the shows I like). You think that they had they're one hit wonder and will never be seen again, but bam, there they are, still working, still alive. You forgot they existed, but once they reappear, you realize damn, I missed you. And I felt that when I saw Shiri and Kerr on TV. Like long lost buddies I had lost touch with.

But okay -- retarded premise (pretty 16 year old foster child finds her birth parents so she can apply for emancipation) -- but I can relate to the theme of grown ups that still have a lot of growing up to do. Er, not that I would put myself in that category. I am very grown up. (But then again, I thank god every day I don't have a 16 year old child out there that will randomly show up at my door). But once their forgotten kid Lux reappears in their lives, both the bio mom, Cate, and the bio dad, Baze realize, "Fuck. I should drink less. Figure out how to cook. And get my shit together." What New Yorker in their 20s doesn't relate to that?

When I turn the show on, it's like a cup of hot chocolate on a winter night. Something that gives you warm fuzzies when the outside world is going through a bit of a shit storm. Who doesn't need that type of distraction in this day and age?